May 25, 2007

Pat Bush 2.0


Yup...I can't believe it either. I am actually posting a blog. To put it mildly...I have been relaxing and enjoying the P.L.T. (Pro Leisure Tour). I am racing again...sort of. Aside from the occasional "Off The Couch" cameo appearance on the local crit scene, I am joining my co-workers in a couple of weeks to race in the Race Across America 24 Hour Corporate Challenge on June 10-11. As you can see in my profile, I am taking it seriously. Don't tell anyone from the Two Ring Circus, but I had to put Aero-bars on my road bike for this one.

Since December, I have been up to a lot...but not on the bike so much. My energy has been focused on another fight, another race and ultimately another journey...that was coming to an abrupt end. Since September, my step mother was battling her third bout with cancer, and it finally won in the middle of December. That was a life altering experience for me. It reminded me how short life is, and how important your family and friends are. Every day, every minute, every second and every breath count. I literally sat and watched life pass and the lasting effects it not only had on me, but those that are dear to her, especially my dad. The thing is, it will happen, and when it does, what will it all sum up to? Say it happens tomorrow. Will you be clear with your closest friends and family as to how much you loved them?
Since I broke my back at the ripe age of 21, I have always thought about how I have appreciated life, in my own terms. I have been really good at ensuring that my time is spent doing the things that are important to me with the people that are important to me, but not really as it pertains to others.
As I sat and watched my dad say goodbye to his wife, my stepmother of 17 years, I realized how final it was. This was IT. My experience with her was ending right here and now. The big questions come to the forefront. Did she know that I loved her and appreciated her? Did she know that no matter what, I was going to take care of my dad for her and that she should not worry about him? Did she know that I will forever be grateful for being a positive part of my life?

For the most part, I know she knew the answers to those questions because I made sure in the past that she was aware of it. But what if she didn't understand? Or what if she was not quite sure? Or if I was not really that good at conveying how I truly felt? I can tell you this...I promised myself later that day, that nobody significant in my life would ever doubt how I felt about them or the positive impact they have made on my life.

So that's what has been going on, in a nutshell...in my nutshell.
Semi-retirement has allowed me to not live like a Buddhist monk anymore and actually have a social life. I skied my ass off this winter both alpine and Nordic, caught up with old friends, and made some great new ones. I am simply doing everything that I enjoy doing, including doing NOTHING whenever I feel like it. I promised myself to not over schedule myself to oblivion for a while. As it was in the past, I could tell you exactly what I would be doing on any given day down to the minute for the next nine months. And now...well, whatever...I like sleeping in on Sunday mornings when I get the chance.

I AM enjoying the bike, and all of the roads and trails it allows me to experience as well as the people that I can ride with along the way. With RAAM coming up, I am sure there will be some Blogs pertaining to the antics involved with 6 guys, riding bikes, FAST, for 24 hours from San Diego to Flagstaff. You can be sure, there will be pictures and stories coming from this one...

Working at Clif Bar is better than ever. I LOVE my job, the people I work with, and the positive impact we have on this earth. To put it lightly, we have fun, and we work hard. There are plenty of other GREAT things to share, but I shall save them for another time.
Till then, Enjoy the Ride.
Oh yeah, I was told that if I mentioned Paris Hilton, more people would read my Blog. So there you go, I did it...for whatever it means...